She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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