Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
