My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
