I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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