My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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