I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
