I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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