i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
