allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I should be sponsored by Trojan
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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