He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
