dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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