you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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