the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
