I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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