I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
