i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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