Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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