Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
