dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
