i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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