I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
