What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
