before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
