He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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