Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
