I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
