Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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