I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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