It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
