i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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