oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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