his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
