i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
