this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
