thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
