WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
