Who did Billy Mays play for?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
