You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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