yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
