She said her name was "party"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
