where am i from again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
