next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
