He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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