I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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