If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
