next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
