hotel room ftw
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
