I don't think brook has ever known best
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
