Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
