Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
MIDGETS
????
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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