Can Purell be used as lube?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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